Three reasons why I don't support the Fifty Shades of Grey saga | MY CUP OF TEA | Beauty & Lifestyle blog: Three reasons why I don't support the Fifty Shades of Grey saga

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Thursday, 12 February 2015

Three reasons why I don't support the Fifty Shades of Grey saga

This may sound radical, but I have a few reasons why I will not watch Fifty Shades of Grey this weekend. I know everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I would like to give you some perspective on why that saga and now franchise is harmful to their audience. I want to say that I tried to read the book but I had to stop reading it. 

While reading it, I felt frustrated. Both characters represent two very well known archetypes: Anastasia Steele is a Mary Sue. For those who don't know what a Mary Sue is an idealized character, too perfect, too good and probably an alter-ego of the author. In this case, Anastasia Steele is 'too perfect' and 'too good' and allows Christian Grey do whatever she wants with her because it seems like she lacks of some sort of will. Christian Grey is the second archetype: the asshole with a dark past that "justifies" his behaviour. 

I want to say before I go into the topic, that I respect everyone's opinion and I understand that people may or may not love this story, but I want to explore in this post how love is portrayed in the whole saga and why it's so harmful.

#1 Unaccurate portrayal of a love relationship

This is definitely the main reason why you should not watch Fifty Shades of Grey. Love is trust, loyalty, CONSENT, and of course passion. In this story, the relationship portrayed is abusive and far away from what love really is. In one of the scenes, Anastasia Steele wants him to stop however he does not. Where is the consent? 
He forces Anastasia to do things she does not want to do. She is controlled constantly and it is accepted because apparently that would mean he loves her. NO. 

#2 Unaccurate portrayal of BDSM relationships

The author CLEARLY did not do her research on that topic. In the book, Anastasia and Christian practice BDSM. She is submissive to him, which is acceptable if that's what she wants. However in BDSM, there should be an aftercare that happens after they have sex. Both characters should make sure they are okay after they do it and make sure their roles don't go beyond their bedroom. In real life, they're independent and live their own lives. In the book, Anastasia and Christian live in a constant BDSM relationship. He is her boss, she is his employee and will do whatever he wants because 'that's what she's supposed to. I reckon the author was just lazy to read about BDSM.

#3 Negative message

What annoys me is not that people read the saga but the fact that they see this relationship as something normal and acceptable. Honestly, how could you? What if your boyfriend/girlfriend controlled everything you eat, when do you work out, who do you hang out with? What if he or she invalidated your will everytime? I know not everyone is unaware of what kind of relationship this saga portrays but it is rather worrying how many people actually want a Christian Grey in their lives. 

The fact that people see as normal something that plenty of people struggle with (abusive relationship) worries me. It is obvious that this saga became famous because of its sexual content, and I understand and respect that people felt curious about it because of it, but it isn't normal how people idealise this story as the ultimate love story. Twilight was already a bit worrying, and Fifty Shades of Grey is a fanfiction of said story

I read somewhere that we should simply 'relax' because, in the end, Fifty Shades of Grey is just a film and also because people watch war movies and it doesn't mean they love war. Those movies, though, are made to go back in history, probably to give a moral message that war is bad (Schindler's List, The Boy in Stripped Pyjamas) others just use it as a background for a powerful romantic story (Pearl Harbour) but the important thing is that the message is clear. In FSoG, the saga glorifies an abusive relationship and portrays it as something people should aspire - and that's a mistake.

So no, I will not support a franchise that supports abusive relationships. The saga and author are an offense to literature and people who have struggled with a relationship like this. I will not go to the cinema and I encourage people to do the same. 


  1. I actually love this post.
    I mean, I read the books and you're right, some of the sex scenes are actually technically rape. Even in a BDSM relationship people have the right to say no. - also thought you might appreciate this!

    ♥ Fran - xx

    1. Thank you so much for reading! I loved the link you sent me, it was so interesting to read and also very scary. How can that book be out?!?!?!

  2. I just have no time for any of it! Glad I'm not the only one.

    Tweet xx

  3. These are some great points! I havent read the books but we watched the movie and it was so bizarre and uncomfortable!

    Chowing Down by the Bay


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