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Monday, 13 April 2015

Crissy Chats | On Authenticity

Source: Pinterest

It's 2015 and everyone still advices you to be yourself. You have no idea how useful that advice actually is! From motivational songs to Hollywood Stars trying to convince you that they were also outcasts once, the message is the same: "Be yourself, everyone else is taken", said Oscar Wilde once. 

I read a blog post earlier this week about authenticity and stating 30 random and weird facts about yourself. The blog is CAUTIVAR and she tagged everyone, so I'm going to tag everyone too. We're awesome the way we are, even with our quirky personalities and pet-peeves. We rock.

Monday, 6 April 2015

Crissy Chats | On life's ups & downs

That's me. With some filters that change the colour of the picture, but you know that there isn't any filter that will make you look happy or excited about something. You can't fake that feeling, I've learnt that the hard way.

I disappeared (AGAIN) for one month. I guess it's been hard for me to catch up with uni here after spending a semester abroad. Coming back to Spain meant keeping up with my friends again and making sure everything was okay. It's been a hard month, I can't even explain. If you follow me on social media you may have seen I even disappeared deliberately from my social accounts. I needed a break. It was rough. 

So why this picture? Well, turns out this picture, which probably makes me look like a psycho, is one of my most liked pictures on Facebook right now. People seem to love it. That night was wonderful because I saw some friends who I don't get to see everyday and we had an incredible night out. Even my mother loves this picture. And I love it, too, in spite of my crazy eyes. I guess I love it because it's genuine. That's me right there. Cool nails, nice lipstick and eyeliner on point. What a time to be alive.

As bubbly and giggly as I may seem, it's been a month that I didn't see that in myself. And I'm starting to feel this way again. I work with kids and these little munchkins know how to make me laugh, even if they call me Maleficient when I get mad at them...!!!

I know it sounds dumb, but this month I have learnt to channel my feelings. It's a hard thing to do, at least for me. I felt all sorts of ways and I had all these thoughts - hell, what do I do with those now?!?!! - I knew there was something to be done here. I learnt that there was no use in putting my feelings aside. They're my feelings and ignoring them won't help. So what do I do with all these thoughts, all these feelings?!

I found comfort in going out for a walk with my friends or my parents. I'm a family-oriented girl and I love being around my family. Luckily, our Sunday rituals of going out for lunch took my mind off a few things. Also, not having Internet on my phone helped me a lot. I only had it when I had wifi, You'd be surprised to know how happy you can be without social media. I'm using it less and less, I believe the thing I update the most is my Twitter or my Instagram, but I use my Facebook to share songs because, hell I have amazing music taste and I want all my friends to know...!!

Jokes aside, it felt good. Keeping myself busy is something good to keep your mind from thinking. I go to uni in the mornings and I work in the afternoons, so I really don't have much time to overthink situations. I channel my feelings in teaching kids in the afternoons. There's beauty in transforming your angst and pain in something wonderful like teaching, believe me. It's comforting. 

And finally, I channel my feelings to do something productive. Or at least, I try to. I've been working out a little, I walk everyday and I also do yoga every friday. I believe that finding a hobby that keeps you busy in a way that you enjoy is also a good alternative.

One day I was feeling like shit. Yes, I'm not censoring that word because that's exactly how I felt. I was happy, though, that I was hanging out with my friends and we decided to go to the fun fair. I told myself I would get on a ride that scared me. And I did. It was crazy, but I screamed SO hard that I felt a relieve afterwards. Truth is, the ride was scary as hell but there were times I enjoyed myself (I mean, what else can you do in a fun fair?!) I remember walking out of the ride with mixed feelings. My knees were shaking and I was laughing. I told myself that the ride was the scariest thing I had ever experienced. Probably, that was when I decided that there wasn't anything that I couldn't overcome.

It's been a weird month filled with ups & downs, but truth is, it could be worse. It could be like that scary ride (seriously, the worst thing ever probably after a free fall) every single day of my life. But it's not that way. And I'm thankful for that.

Either way, I'm in a better place now. As John Mayer would say; "I'm in repair, I'm not together but I'm getting there". I really hope I can catch up with all your blogs (AGAIN!) and I hope I can catch up with mine, too.